If you’re like many people, the thought of getting a massage probably sounds fantastic on every level. After all, what could be more relaxing than someone rubbing your body for an hour or so? If you’re like most people, though, you might not be so great at preparing for a massage.

Having a close male friend is an essential bond that most men never experience. Western culture allows males to congregate as long as we don’t become too intimate. Even with the guys we often hang with, our inner fears and needs may not be met because “that’s not the way guys are.”

There has been a steady increase over the past two decades in the use of the Internet for accessing porn. New sites are appearing all the time, perhaps more so now due to the COVID-19 pandemic. For many, porn may be the sole source of sexual activity. 

Straight guys in the U.S. are overwhelmingly uncomfortable about almost any physical contact with another guy, setting aside the slap on the ass in sports or an A-frame hug (no touching of body parts) with a friend or family member. Discovering a male co-worker or friend is bisexual opens the door to a world not acceptable in the minds of those who insist on a strict two-gender concept of sexuality. 

I often encourage my clients to tell me when they come in, what their idea of an ideal massage would be. This gives me an idea of what their expectations and fantasies might be. Massage is not a ‘one size fits all’ kind of business. During a massage, I observe the client’s body language and respond to feedback from their body and adjust accordingly. However, I am not a mind reader — yet — and you know what you need much better that I could ever know, so help me give you a memorable experience.

Have you thought about getting a men’s massage or gay massage and have always had cold feet? Have you picked up the phone to dial or send a message, but your heart starts racing and you back out? Have you had the courage to ask a few questions, but not enough to book and follow through with your session? If so, this article is for you.

Just like everything else, gay massage has its unspoken etiquette rules that must be obeyed. And like everything else, etiquette and good manners are all about being considerate of others.

But first of all, what makes a massage gay? Is it gay if both the masseur and client are male? If so, does it automatically become a gay massage if there are no female masseuses available at your favorite spa and you get a male masseur? Is a massage gay if both men are gay? What if only one of them is gay? What if the masseur is gay and the client is straight — is that a gay massage? Is it gay if the men’s massage is sensual?

It’s been about 9 weeks of coronavirus restrictions and the curve doesn’t show much sign of flattening. I’m sure you’re antsy, touch deprived and going stir-crazy, and it looks like we are going to be under some restrictions through July. But there will be no set date when we will return to our previous lives. And for the next couple of years, we will be adjusting to fit into the ‘new normal’, according to this New York Times article.

We tend to acquire a lot of habits as we grow — some of them good, others not so good. Sometimes we need to turn around some of this lifetime of bad habits — exercise patterns (or the lack thereof), poor dietary choices, bad lifestyle activities… For some people, turning their lives around is easy and they can quit bad habits cold turkey. But if you’re like me, you’ll need some motivation.

For the neophyte, getting a massage, especially a gay massage could seem intimidating. Even a regular therapeutic massage could become awkward at any moment. Here are some of the more typical situations that people think of.